It has been one of my personal sayings for a long time..."where there is faith there is no fear". I've recited that mantra to myself and others on numerous occasions. The true test of its meaning has come in attempting to live this saying as applied to my child.
When Jaxson was first diagnosed with T1D, the fear and heartbreak were almost overwhelming. It was the closest I have ever come in my lifetime to actually questioning God. I could not understand how or why this could happen to my child.
Yes, it is easy for me to have no fear when it comes to matters involving myself. But my child? How, as a parent, can I not fear for my child? It is all too easy to allow negative thoughts to creep into my mind about his condition and his future. But fear has a tendency to become a festering poison. The only antidote is faith.
I used to worry about things like answering my son's questions about sex, other kids bullying him, his first heartbreak, what his future career path will be, etc. Those all seem so inconsequential now. It's funny how quickly your axis can tilt and a change in perspective follows.
But you know what? Worry is worry. It doesn't matter how big or little the problem may be. In every situation, we are given the choice to either have fear or to have faith. They are both a belief in things unseen. No matter which one you choose, they take up an equal amount of space in your consciousness. Yet one is positive, the other negative.
So, if I'm going to spend my time, energy, and thought process on one or the other, I'll choose faith. It doesn't hurt to remind myself from time to time that God is much bigger than I am. His purpose is one I am not meant to understand. So, I'll let go of the reins and trust in Him to care for my child. I'll do what I can to help...knowing he loves my child even more than I do. And that is a BIG kind of love! All that is required of me is that I have faith the size of a mustard seed. That, I can do.
Even diabetes doesn't seem so big and bad when you look at the big picture. After all, God put this special child in my life and entrusted me with his care. So I should do the same in return.
Sound too simple? It is. Give it a try. Because faith is always simple. Fear is the complicated option.
"So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever." II Corinthians 4:18
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